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Showing posts from December, 2018

Serotonin Syndrome - The Recovery

To put it bluntly, it felt like someone was holding me down, repeatedly kicking me in the testicles, and playing a very slow moving video of all of my previous actions and behaviours back to me. While I was drunk. The incredibly slow realisation of my actions and who I had become as a person was the most difficult aspect of everything for me to accept, and quite possibly the hardest to explain in a way that I could be understood. I had been accused of acting in a particular way/s throughout this whole ordeal and while I had faith in the people telling me what my actions were causing and that I was doing absolutely everything I could do to fix it, I didn't know what I needed to fix. I had the information and the tools to do it, but you can't saw through a piece of wood if you're holding the blade up the wrong way. Everything I was doing felt like it should have worked at the time, but the harder I tried, the further I was getting from my end goal. I can't even begin to …

Anxiety/Panic Attacks

Do you know what it feels like to have an anxiety/panic attack? I do. Let me paint you a mental picture of what it felt like for me.First, your breathing gets more rapid. As that's happening, not only are you still going over in your head whatever the trigger for this attack was, but you're also getting concerned about your rapid breathing and increased heart rate. You almost question whether you are putting on the rapid breathing for attention. It's not until your fingers start tingling that you think something is seriously wrong. I'll never forget the very first attack I ever had. My partner at the time and I were laying in bed together and we had just had a bit of a heated argument/discussion about something (I can't even remember what, but I'd almost guarantee that it was made worse due to the condition I was unknowingly suffering at the time and my innate ability to read into a situation too much) and I started feeling all of these symptoms. I had absolute…

Serotonin Syndrome - The Beginning

Right. If I'm going to do this, I may as well dive in head first to the important topics. First cab off the rank: Mental Health.Towards the end of 2016 I was working in a job I didn't really like a whole lot, and I was also going through some pretty intense personal drama with the mother of my children regarding just about anything you can think of - if you could argue about it, we did. I'm sure I'll say more in a future blog post, but it got to the point where I felt like I needed to get lawyers involved to protect my rights to see my children. The only light in my life was the time I spent with my children, and a relationship I had just started with a woman who was unlike any other I had ever met. Beautiful. Witty. Intelligent. An absolute heart of gold. Even the circumstances that led to us talking to one another were exactly like you would see in a romcom. It was fucking disgusting. It was around this time I started noticing symptoms of Anxiety in myself which rang…

Introduction

My name is Kyle Distill, and among other things, I am a Single Dad to the two most amazing children you could ever have the privilege of parenting. Connor and Baylee are the two greatest achievements in my life. I know all parents say that, but mine fetch me cold alcoholic beverages out of the fridge on demand without complaint and I think that's a quality everybody should instil in their offspring from a young age.

Anyway, I digress.

I have always wanted to become a creative person. A more open person. Someone who isn't afraid to open himself up to not only the struggles that occur in everyday life, but the positive as well. I have always had a desire in me to write something but have never really taken that first step. I thought I wasn't good enough. I thought I would be perceived as just seeking attention. I thought my life is not something that anybody would be interested in reading about; after all, everyone has their own dramas and struggles to deal with. Truth be to…